A Man’s Role In A Woman’s World
“When you marry a girl, don’t expect her to abandon her girlfriends, because you’ll never be able to take their place.” ~ A man to his son
Truer words were never spoken. It’s that whole DNA thing again. A basic need that appears on an almost daily basis, to connect, to absorb, to reach out to our female counterparts – feeling completely and undeniably safe to expose whatever thoughts that happen to surface. We know we will be accepted, but that’s a given because after all, women are from Venus, aren’t we?
But in life, there must be balance. The yin to the yang, the black to the white, the leather to the lace.
So if I were to place an ad in the newspaper tonight, it would say something like this:
Wanted: Seeking Males for Friendship Only – Applications now being accepted.
I’d do it because I like men, because some are strong, some are witty. Some give that big brother feeling that women just want to embrace. But most of all, men offer something girlfriends can’t – a perspective of life from a male’s point of view. Men offer the other half of balance. These friendships are easy-going and safe and are an underrated commodity that is a shame not to pursue.
But can men and women truly be friends? It depends on who you’re talking to.
In college, I hooked up with Rob, who was my best male friend through my first year. As a couple, we went bowling, watched movies, ate Chinese food in front of the TV, and took walks on the beach – sans the emotions. It was a nice change from hanging out all the time with my three female roommates whose emotions ran to the extremes from one day to the next.
Then there was Chuck, Dave, and Dave (yes, two) who were always up for taking me and my roommates out clubbing. Again, just as friends, and if there was any sexual tension between any of us, we never let it get in the way of our friendship.
Is this the exception rather than the rule? What happens when there is attraction on one side? What if two people met at the wrong time in each other’s lives and a relationship beyond friends is not an option?
A friend told me once that in order for men and women to be friends, the attraction had to run its course and then, only then, could the two be friends.
And if it didn’t run its course? We could walk away, but then we literally toss out any chance of interaction with a person we were attracted to in the first place. It’s a case of cutting off our nose to spite our face, and both sides usually feel the loss.
The end result of any relationship doesn’t have to be the progression of the human race or co-habitation in order to fall into the roles society has set up.
Friendships between men and women can be….just because.
What about you? Do you think men and women can be friends? If you are married, do either of you have opposite-sex friends? If not, do you find yourself missing it? I’d love to know!