Mid-Life Crisis? Me? Umm.. No.

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“Girls Night Out”  Me (left) with two of my amazing friends, Natascha and Kate, on my trip to California.

I was explaining to my son exactly why I went on a vacation to California, leaving him and his older brother in the care of their father.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  You’re going through a mid-life crisis.”

I spun around so quickly, I think I scared him.  The only reason why my youngest boy didn’t receive my full wrath after that remark was because I figured he had been parroting the words of my ex.  He had to have been.  Who else would be so closely affected by me wanting to escape from responsibility for a mere week (out of 1,144 weeks that we were together)?  The one man on this planet to have tried – and succeeded – to have guilted me from doing those things and seeing those people who really fed my soul.  (Okay, so I allowed it, but still…)

“Mid-life crisis” is usually said with a judgmental and condescending tone.  To me, this phrase smacks of negativity.  As if reaching this point is a bad thing, as if we’ve stepped over to the darker side of the tracks.

Anyway, whoever whispered that choice little phrase into my son’s ear needs to hear what I have to say.

Self Discovery is the new Mid-Life Crisis. 

“Mid-life crisis,” I think, is being in a place of self discovery.  It’s when we look around and reassess our life and say, “Hey! There I am! I had no idea I would enjoy something like that.”  So we start playing and doing things we’d forgotten to have fun doing.  Stuff we’d stupidly put on hold for… what?  Whatever we were doing that we felt took precedence over our own needs, could have been tailored to work around or with us.  If we hadn’t shelved the fun or passion for so long, we never would have gotten to this point in the first place.  And while we’re in this state of “confusion,” our loved ones sit back and patiently wait for us to “come back” to our senses.  Will we ever come back?  I hope not.

I believe those with the tsk, tsk attitude might be a tad frightened when people like me wake up one day and say they’ve had enough.  I’m a threat.  I can single-handedly shake their tree and leave them scratching their heads, wondering what just blew through their forest.  I’m a break from their safe routine.

The reality is that this state of mind should be encouraged, for it is through the process of finding out what makes us happy, that this happiness will undoubtedly spill over into the outside world, not fester and breakdown, such as what happened to me not too long ago.

So, today, on my 50th birthday, I find myself still making up for lost time, and with a little help from my friends, the road to discovery has been over-the-top amazing.

The joy I’ve found and the joy I have yet to find will be for my friends and family as well.  So, here’s to 50 more years of self discovery….  Cheers!

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About Diana Murdock

California-grown, writer of contemporary and YA paranormal with enough energy to write, raise two boys, run, and dream.

Posted on March 17, 2013, in Friendships, Human, Life Lessons, Personal, Relationships, Self discovery, Uncategorized, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. Happy Birthday, Diana! I hope it’s a fabulous day to start off an amazing year! :)

  2. Salud! (cheers) So glad you rejuvenated by taking off, especially with two kids still at home. I wish I would have done more of those types of trips or time outs instead of waiting for everyone else to be taken care of. The important thing is I’m doing it now, discovering those hidden and suppressed “likes” now! Here’s to another 50, D!!! You make it look great!

    • Thanks, Maria! I’m thrilled you’re doing your own self-discovery. No time like the present. You’ve come a long way in the last two years. I’m truly amazed. Keep it up! xxoo

  3. “Spiritual Awakening” is what I call it. With me, it started when I turned 39 and I found myself shedding layers of everything in my life that bogged me down…EVERYTHING. Drama…gone. Guilt…gone. Stress…gone. Upstream thinking…gone. And there I was, striped bare down to the raw. It was invigorating. It was scary. But I for the first time in my entire life, I felt alive! Looking back five years later, it has been such an amazing journey. So to those of you who need a label and want to call it a mid-life crisis, I know my life scares you and makes you dizzy, so do what you gotta do…say what you gotta say to make yourself feel grounded in your tiny little world. As for me, there is a beautiful world in front of me to discover and I’m never looking back.

    Happy Birthday my beautiful cousin. I love you! xoxox

    • You’ve always given me something to think about, Toria. You’ve held me up to the light and held me accountable. For that, and many other things, I thank you. You are an inspiration to me. I love you, cousin!

  4. Happy birthday, doll!
    XOXOXOXO
    DSH

  5. The Phoenix rises…

    i am happy for you. You have not wasted any of your 50 years. You have accomplished so much good through your mothering and your writing. And now, another gear. Look out world!

  6. Happy birthday, Diana! You make 50 (and heck, humanness) seem radiant and awesome. You’ve accomplished so much, and inspire so many. Stay well and in touch. :)

  7. Happy 50th Birthday to my awesome cuz! I love you so much! I have always looked up to you Snoob! Your strength amazes me and YOU inspire me still!

  8. It is a wonderful journey. Thanks for being in my life. Have a happy day!

  9. Ah, you little youngin’. What is 50 anyway? They call it the big 5-0, but what exactly is that supposed to mean? Hey, Oprah said that life starts at fifty and I think she’s right. lol. After the initial shock that you’re actually 50, (a half a century old, as my wonderful bother-in-law so eloquently brought to my attention), I know, he’s lucky to be alive, lol. But I think that we have reached a time in our lives when we are comfortable within our own skin. We know who we are, yet there is still so much of life to discover, to cherish, to look forward to. And look at you. You’re still rockin’ it girl! No problema chicka! Life is good! :)

    • Shock… yeah I’m feeling it now. Crazy feeling, but it’s all good. Age is a mindset and it’s only a matter of switching gears. I’ll take your words to heart and embrace who the years have made me become. <3

  10. I will join in that toast with pleasure *here’s to 50 more wonderful years* ~ clink~
    Diana, it has been a joy for all of us to share in your journey and watch you blossom into the truly amazing woman you are today! Celebrate with abandon!

  11. So well said, Diana. I’m so bummed I couldn’t join you guys, but I’d been off work the week before for my anniversary and couldn’t get more time off. Next time. Happy Birthday!

  12. Oh, wow, this is a milestone birthday! I’ve been in the 50s a good while now, and let me tell you, the 50s rock! Big time! I LOVE being 50-something. So cheers to you and, yes, another 50 years or more to look forward to!

  13. You go, girl and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! I hope it’s been amazing and full of love, laughter, and fabulousness.

    You are one freaking gorgeous woman and I loved getting to hang out with you while you were here. The next 50 years are going to be even more amazing than the last 50.

    • Tameri, this last trip was just the beginning of many. I’m still LOL’ing at your funny and wacky way with life. Definitely will have to hook up again. Thank you for everything. :)

  14. Here! Here! Happy Birthday, my dear friend. Sometimes it takes us a while to figure stuff out. But at least you came to that place in your life. Some never do. Now, what’s this business about you being in California. Did I not get the memo? ;)
    *brotherly hugs*

    -Jimmy

    • Hey, Jimmy, my Cali trip was a bit under the radar. I found I need to make multiple trips to get everything done and everyone seen. I’ll be making more trips and as I mentioned before, moving there is seriously considered. I’ll let you know when I’m in your neighborhood. Thanks for the kind thoughts. xxoo

  15. Yolanda Sevillano

    Hey Snobbie Happy B-Day and power to you! No one knows what one goes through and why we do what we do, and actually it’s none of their business. You need to know who you are and where your going and that is the bottom line. Be happy my lovely Snobbie, I am very proud of who you are, you are just beginning to live so hold on to your hat!!!!
    Love, Tia Yolanda

    • Tia Yolanda! What a nice surprise to find you here! Thank you for the birthday wishes and for your insightful words. I truly am happy. This day is kind of a wake up call to make every moment count. Love you!

  16. I’ve got to say- and age does not come into the equation- you are so hot! And your friends too. Happy Birthday Beautiful!

  17. Oh, my gorgeous, youthful, amazing sister! I love you and I must tell you this – You. Are. Coming. To. Seattle. Now! Yep, we are celebrating your 50th here.

    Hah, I’m gonna challenge the mid-life crisis, no matter what. I’m ready. Come and try to get me, hehe.

    • Oh, most definitely, Angela. I’m in the traveling mode now. I think I just opened Pandora’s box! I’d love to visit you and celebrate in style. And the crisis thing? It doesn’t stand a chance against your energy… xxoo

  18. To many more years of success…and fun…and laughter…and energy…and dance…and discovery…and remembering, my sista. Love you, girl. xo

  19. Happy Birthday, Diana!

    As a culture we weren’t always so obsessed with youth and staying young. In other times and places we measured our age different. At fifty we’re only becoming adults with enough experience to understand where we’ve come from and how to get where we know we want to be. Welcome to adulthood! Muah!

    • Thanks, Les. This really hasn’t been as traumatic as I had thought it would be. If it weren’t for the whole age-box-label thing, I wouldn’t know the difference, but you’re right. Standing between the past and future is pretty damn empowering and exciting! xxoo

  20. Just got around to reading your post. Happy belated birthday!

    Well said too. There is no rules to say you can’t live a life at 50. Go out, explore, and have fun. Life is just starting and now you know what you want!

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