Monthly Archives: December 2011
The End was penned a couple of months ago, but those two words only signaled the beginning. After 14 months of writing, the words that had been pouring out of my imagination had finally solidified into the 70,000+ manuscript that is now going through the fluff and fold and nip and tuck process.
For me, editing this YA Paranormal has been all-consuming, taking up enough space in my brain to push a few things out. As input from my betas keep coming in, my mind is continuously working out the possibilities and changes my novel could take. I’ve forgotten to pay bills on time, left the market with only half of what I’ve gone in for, and lost a lot of time from work because I’m running through scenes in my head instead of typing medical reports. I get through my days only half there and it’s a struggle to bring myself to the moment and focus on the task at hand.
I’ve got the attention span of blade of grass and if a point is not made within five seconds from the beginning of a conversation or whatever it is that I’m reading, you can be pretty sure I’ve checked out and moved on to something else. Oftentimes I wake up that way, breathing in the adrenaline of the home stretch.
With my tattoo artist now sketching out the cover of the novel – which, by the way, will be one of the next images of art to be inked on my body – the actual completion of my second novel is quickly becoming a reality…and I can’t wait!
So forgive me as I deviate from my usual blog path, because quite honestly, I can’t think of much else. You may not see me much in the blogosphere or in Twitterverse in the next few weeks, but I’ll be around – sort of.
I was all ready to do a post about something completely different than what this has turned out to be. I was chatting with a good friend about what my blog was going to be about and he suggested posting on the insanity of the Christmas season. My reply was that it was overdone and I had already touched upon it in a prior post. Besides, I thought later, I really wanted to keep away from the negative side of the season, the side of which my children, the youngest one anyway, seems to have been sucked into – the lists, the wanting more and more – I want, I want, I want – without regard for anyone (me) else. The whole thing was making me cranky. I didn’t need to add to it.
So I set upon a path for a completely different blog, but I kept thinking about a post that Give Me a Valium With My Latte posted on Facebook today, and once again, the direction of my blog shifted, and I began to smile.
The spirit of Christmas had entered the building.
We all know times are tough for many and this time of year adds a little more pressure on those who struggle financially. The desire to please and the desire to keep a roof over our heads crash in the middle and communication just breaks down. But we find a way, somehow, with cutting corners here and there, or whatever it takes to make it through.
As it turns out, kind and loving people are stepping in and lending a hand, just because that is what resonates in their heart. They have been dubbed the Layaway Angels.
These incredible people have stepped up to the plate and hit home runs for many, many people who used the layaway option at K-Mart stores as a way to purchase gifts for Christmas. Before these people were scheduled to pay off the balance of their purchases last week, many of these earth angels had taken care of the balances for these customers, leaving them in tears – very, very happy tears. For those fortunate enough to have been touched, this will be a Christmas to remember.
You can read the full story here. It’s not very long, and well worth your time. The video had me in tears.
To me, this is what Christmas is all about. The giving. The love. The reaching out. It could take the shape of a check, a hug, a plate of homemade fudge, a warm meal, or the gift of song. Whatever works.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Last night I was sitting in a court room with about 20 other people for a court-mandated program called Focus on the Children. Everyone in the room was there because they were either filing for divorce or custody of their children, or both. We all needed to be there, because the information being given had some value, but none of us wanted to be there, and if we had our choice, we’d be home. Therein the reason behind making the program mandated. Mandated is forced. Mandated is not always positive.
So there’s the scene: Twenty strangers together in a place and time not of our choosing, under negative circumstances. And I could feel it. The walls of personal space were reinforced like fortresses. I counted 50 chairs and with only 20 people, no one sat next to each other. Hell, even I put the literature they gave me in the seat next to me as a warning: “Move on. This seat is taken.”
I shocked myself with that one. Me…Miss Open…Miss Trusting…Miss What You See Is What You Get. But everyone in the room was doing the same thing. Eyes straight ahead, arms held close to their body, and with the exception of that one guy who kept asking questions about mental stability issues of a spouse, no one spoke. I could almost see the barriers that encased each one of us.
Then my thoughts jumped to my friends, most of who I’ve met by hanging around the martial arts center where my sons take classes. There was a time when all of us would do the same thing as those in the court room. We would sit with the space of an empty chair between us, but at least we’d sort of look at each other, smile, look away, smile again, make some sort of comment and then stop talking until the time came to do it all again. Now, though, it’s a hug-fest whenever any of us walks through the door, pulling up the chairs for each other so close that our knees touch when we sit.
So where’s the tipping point? When do we make it okay to drop the shields and let others into our personal space? What triggers the green light to peel away the layers of our person and reveal it to others?
For me, I have no boundaries – sometimes a liability – and let just about anybody into my space. That’s just the way I roll and sometimes I forget others don’t think like me. When I get in close proximity to someone I don’t know, I can feel the energy pressing outwards. And, yes, I have been known to ignore protocol and enter their space anyway.
For everyone it’s different. Remember the woman at the grocery store? It took but one hug to go from stranger to friends. I have a really good friend who, after something like three years, has shown me a side of her I never would have guessed. It took her that long to shed the last of her last few layers.
So what is it for you? What do you look for in someone? Is there some special quality that makes it okay to touch your knee with theirs when sitting together? Better yet, is it you who makes okay…or is it the other person?
Remember, a stranger is only a stranger until you know their name.
During this holiday time of love, caring, and sharing our precious moments, all of us will find ourselves surrounded by our Soul Mates. This is not to be confused with Twin Flames, which I will get to in a moment.
Soul Mates are those with whom we have “contracted” with in Soul Place to be our light, to be our dark, to play our victim or devil’s advocate. They are our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, and even lovers. These roles are constantly changing through our different lifetimes for the purpose of helping us grow. Those in our Soul Group are set apart from the others we encounter in day-to-day life.
We know who our Soul Mates are. We can feel it. They are the ones we click with when we meet them at a party, high school, or college. They are the ones we stay connected with over the years and, well, connect with.
Many times someone will dreamily tell us they’ve married their Soul Mate only to end up in tears some years down the road, heartbroken that their partner was not their Soul Mate after all. The truth is that the one they “lost” actually was a Soul Mate, laced with karmic attraction, who entered into the relationship all because of an agreement made to learn/teach a lesson. And who of us has not learned something from a relationship that went sour?
It took me two long-term, major relationships to end before I realized I needed to set boundaries, to value myself, and to not give it all away at the expense of my soul. And it has turned out all right. I’m healing and they’re healing (I hope, for their sake). I’m good friends with both of my ex-partners, because after all, I’ll be seeing them again in this lifetime or the next because we have Soul Place karma together.
Recognition of the lessons we are trying to learn is key, though. We need to push our ego aside, learn what those lessons are, move on, and don’t keep entering the same types of relationships. Fortunately for me, it only took two go-arounds, but I’ve seen others who keep going back for more of the same, oftentimes lousy experiences. Failing to clear the emotional baggage will only delay our union with our Twin Flame.
And that, my friends, is the ultimate nirvana – the literal union with our other half. Upon coming into physical plane, our soul split into masculine and feminine aspects and over lifetimes, each now-complete soul seeks to evolve through the trials we have set before us. Only then will we be able to connect once again.
How do we know we have met our Twin Flame? From what I understand, the connection is so mind-blowing – way beyond the physical and emotional level – that we will just know. Period.
Chances are we have already had a connection with our Twin Flame in this lifetime, but one or the other just wasn’t quite prepared for the intensity such a union would create.
But we must be ready, because when Twin Flames do finally recognize one another, it is a magic of epic proportions. Imagine a depth of love so great that distance from one another is painful, but also a depth so great that one can feel the other’s thoughts, needs, and desires as if it is their own. The Twin Flames just know each other on a deep, deep soul level.
“…and when one of them meets their other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight for even a moment…” ~ Plato
So you tell me…have you met your Twin Flame or are you still “practicing” with a Soul Mate? Don’t be shy. It’s all good. We’re in this together….my Soul Mates.